Letterkenny started out as a web series called Letterkenny Problemsand was quickly picked up by Crave TV in 2016. In the U.S., the show became available to stream on Hulu in 2018, transforming it from a cult hit into a bonafide fave. It’s since become something akin to the Great White North’s version of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, in large part because it just keeps going and going, with its six-episode tenth season debuting at the end of 2021. The showcenters around Wayne (played by show co-creator Jared Keeso), a young farmer who sells crops at his produce stand as he interacts with his friends, foes and lovers in the fictional rural town of Letterkenny in Ontario, Canada. (Keeso loosely based the show on Listowel, the real-life town he grew up in.) The oh-so-quotable dialogue on Letterkenny is often rapid-fire and can veer toward fratboy vulgarities and f-bombs, but if winning multiple Canadian awards for writing means anything, the show is still smart and well-written. Most episodes open with the same tongue-in-cheek statement: “Letterkenny consists of hicks, skids, hockey players and Christians. These are their problems.” The Law and Order-style title card isn’t an accident. Keeso delivers his lines just like a hardened detective–if the detective enjoyed toilet humor and spent a lot of time shooting the breeze with a beer in hand. Wayne, his sister Katy (Michelle Mylett), and their friends Daryl (Nathan Dales) and Squirrely Dan (Trevor K. Williams) ask the hard questions: Are babies smart? Isn’t the word “taste” kinda pervy? In between deep thoughts, they also trade barbs and sick burns with local hockey players, meth heads, townies and oddballs at MoDean’s, the local bar. “It’s a lot to wrap your head around,” Keeso said of the show’s success in a 2017 interview. “We’ve got some soul and some heart in there and it’s a tough show at the end of the day.” All 10 seasons of Letterkenny are streaming on Hulu, and word is they shot the upcoming Season 11 in June 2021, simultaneous with Season 10 production; new episodes should arrive before the end of the year. So pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er; here are 80 hilarious quotes from Letterkenny.
Letterkenny quotes from Wayne
- “Pitter patter, let’s get at ’er.”
- ”Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe.”
- “And I suggest you let that one marinate.”
- “Wish you weren’t so [expletive] awkward, bud.”
- “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.”
- “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.”
- “It’s like algebra… why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go [expletive] yourself?”
- “You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.”
- “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.”
- “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.”
- “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?”
- “You’d best be preparin’ for a donnybrook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.”
- “You know not to be impolite but sometimes a gal will do some kissing on the ears. Which makes me uncomfortable because even though I clean my ears, sometimes a tater will just roll out of there unexpected.”
- “Oh, I got so much time for sushi.” 15.“Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.”
- “In the words of the genre-bending Canadian indie rock band Arcade Fire, ‘wake up.’
- “There’s something really pervy about that word ‘taste.’”
- “You lose a lot of heat in the neck.”
- “The bottom inch of a beer bottle is 50% spit”
- “A smoke and a beer go together like a piss and a fart.”
- “If you had as many bucks in your wallet as bucks mounted on your wall you’d have, well, give or take six bucks.”
- “I’d say give your [expletive] a tug, but it looks like your pants are doing that for you.”
- “You’re 10-Ply, Bud.”
- “Sing us a song 0r something. Do a trick.”
- “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.”
- “There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.”
- “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the [expletive] you got earrings on?”
- “Not my pig, not my farm.”
- “As sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fighting dudes with treasure trails.”
- “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.”
- “You’re a cup of baby carrots.”
- “It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Accept when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth.”
- “I seen Samuel in the laundry room with a cat one time and you just know that little [expletive] is gonna put it in the dryer.”
- “Well, she’s a pretty girl. It’s just… uhhh you could let the paint dry a wee bit there, eh?”
- “A gal at the bar said she liked how your pants fit but she said it in a baby voice and really she can do that on her own time.”
- “The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart.”
- “If I’m an ant I’m operating the seadoo with my antennae.”
- “You’re softer than a Cinnabon sampler.”
Letterkenny quotes from Katy
- “Not my forte.”
- “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.”
- “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.”
- “If you smelly gamey, you ain’t gonna lay me.”
- “On a scale from one to America, how free are you right now?”
- “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the [expletive] windshield.”
Lettterkenny quotes from Daryl
- “You guys do CrossFit?”
- “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.”
- “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?”
- “You came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right? But your pal had your back, went on the attack, but it turned off his gal like a night light.”
- “This eau de toilette is enchantingly refreshing on summer days like this.”
- “Legen-Dary.”
Letterkenny quotes from Squirrely Dan
- “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.”
- “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!”
- “I’m so upset about my perennials.”
- “He is otherworldly! He’s got a dome like an Easter Island statue.”
- “Hey! He said simmers down so simmers down! Why don’t you go eat some tartares ya snail-sucking mime lovers?!”
- “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.”
- “You love that movie The Fox and the Hound so much you can’t bring yourself to kill the fox that’s been getting into the chicken coop. You don’t care if that makes you softer than a Disney matinee.”
Letterkenny quotes from Shoresy
- “Jonesy your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you.”
- “Your Mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerta Vallarta.”
- “You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?”
- “Do you know what, I don’t want you to kiss and tell, that’s impolite…. but I am kind of curious.”
- “Got anymore of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it.”
- “Betty-Ann, your breath’s so bad it gave me an existential crisis — it made me question my whole life.”
- “Tell your mom to top off the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late night!”
- “Boulevard of broken dreams!”
Letterkenny quotes from Coach
- “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.”
- “Did little Natisha take your last halloween Oreo?? You didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to that delicious orange frosting?”
- “I have never been less embarrassed in all my life.”
Letterkenny quotes from Gail
- “I am willing to give 69 percent of my company to a partner, why 69 percent? Both sides benefit! Good enough!”
- “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your [expletive], cowboy!”
- “Something about that old goat just really grinds my pepper.”
- “Look if you are coming, come correct.”
- “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.”
- “Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here.”
- “Make sure you use that sunscreen ‘cause it’s a great day for hay.”
- “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.”
Letterkenny quotes from Reilly
- “I mean, just because my name is Reilly doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a drunken leprechaun.”
- “Nice onesie! Does it come in men’s?”
- “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?”
- “Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.” Next, 50 Mean Girls quotes that’ll convince you fetch can happen!
